Author Archives: Otiti

About Otiti

Soul visionary. Heart hugger. Huge love advocate. Igniting your soul to live your dreams. Get radiant.

Trapped in Time

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This one’s been percolating in my mind for a while now. I find myself dwelling on the past, reliving certain events and phases over and over and over again, and I realise that I’m trapped in time. Memories, people, emotions….even though many things have changed and are no longer applicable to my present, I still treat them like they’re breaking news. Can we all say “denial” together?

I wonder why I keep trying to resurrect past emotions, ties, friendships, and alliances. I can’t understand why I expect things to remain the same when I know for a fact that change is the only constant. I’m so tired of thinking in the same loop and promising myself that “I have to stop”.

That said, I really will stop living in the past. I doubt it’ll be easy, though. Even if it seems incredibly difficult, nothing in life worth having is easily achieved. Or something like that, anyway.

No Games. Just Love.

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Hey, all. My Facebook status for this past week was the title of this post. No games. Just love. I was thinking about how we often hide how much we really care about our loved ones, and I wonder why it’s like that. I mean, if you love someone, he/she should know, right? Apparently not always.

If you have to guess what you mean to a person you deeply care about, if you keep the nature and extent of your emotions under wraps, if you play games to maintain the upper hand…..it just seems pointless to me. It’s not business, it’s a friendship, a relationship. It’s personal.

Put yourself out there. It’s worth the risk. Win or lose, rise or fall, acceptance or rejection, you did it anyway. You weren’t afraid to let your feelings show. If you fear the other person might not value your openness, well, there’re valid reasons for such a concern. All I know is one ought to be comfortable sharing if the object of your affection is good for you, and I’m talking about all sorts of relationships here. I won’t go near business because, yeah, it’s governed by a different set of rules. But otherwise? Let them know, people. Let them know.

The Masks Within

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We are more complex than one might ever fully appreciate. Our thoughts and desires are not necessarily on display for others to notice, or even for we ourselves to realise. It is possible for our external attitude and manner to be in discord with our inner mind scape, not simply mere discord but serious disharmony.

The masks within conceal our true natures not only from the observer’s eye, but from our own perceptions as well. Sometimes we don’t want to face or acknowledge what we feel, what we want, what we need, what we desire. Sometimes the maintenance of a projected self-image becomes more important than its personal fulfilment, which in turn necessitates the cultivation of a more private persona that achieves what the public image cannot.

Anyway, I was just thinking about how often we have dual identities: the public and the private. They’re not always the same, are they? Additionally, total self-knowledge isn’t always welcome or embraced unless absolutely necessary. Why do we shy away from peering into the furthest reaches of our inner selves? The possibility of uncovering unpleasant or disturbing truths, I guess.

The masks within. Evocative wordplay, no?

My Take on Life

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I think life is what you make of it. Yes, that’s quite the cliché, but bear with me whilst I indulge my youthful perspective. Hey it’s my prerogative, right? Yes indeed. So, here it is.

There’re hardships to bear, difficulties to overcome, challenges to stretch us and make us better at what we do. At the same time, though, life can be exquisite, beautiful, joyful, and full of countless possibilities and limitless pleasures.

I honestly think people get so caught up in negativity and trying to get ahead that they lose sight of the beauty of being alive and loved. So many times people’re willing to give only if they can get something in return, there doesn’t seem to be much genuine goodwill left. I think it’s important to be considerate, to care even if there’s no immediate reward or benefit, to reach out to your friends and just be there for them. I think everyone should hold on to their inner child and retain the innocence of that stage because it keeps one positive and young at heart.

I think the pace of life is too frenetic these days; all that bustling back and forth, hurrying to and fro, what’s it really about? You can only find harmony and balance if you slow your roll and take the time to be at peace within yourself. Find the time to sit back and reflect, to focus on being in tune with your spirit and in harmony with your soul.

LOL, deep or what? 😀 Motivational speaker in the making! Seriously though, life may not be a bed of roses, but it’s not a thicket of thorns either. So, resist the tendency to point out/dwell on all the things that could go wrong or bad; recognise and embrace the flip side instead.

Reunited!

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I was recently separated from my laptop for 2 weeks. I’m proud to say I survived without it, although I did experience separation anxiety after 9 or 10 days. I just started longing for it, you know? So now we’re together again and I’m one happy camper, LOL.

In other news, haven’t said anything on here in some time. Well, greatness can’t be rushed. I’d like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to my mum for penning her first novel!!! Woot woot!! LOL, more on that later.  😀 Stay tuned, guys.

Aural Fixation

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Rhythm. Melody. Harmony. Smooth lyrics. Music. Can’t get enough!  😀

So I got a new CD today, Robin Thicke’s Sex Therapy: The Session. The clean version, of course. It is the TRUTH! LOL. Dude got game, some young brothers need to take pointers and get their techniques right. Especially when it comes to how a real man treats a lady. I wonder, are all gentlemen in their 30s or older? Can’t be, there must be younger ones about.

In case you couldn’t tell already, I’m simply fascinated by relationships. Not flings, booty calls, one-night stands . . . no, no, no. The real relationships that require work from both parties in order to stay healthy, fun, loving, and fulfilling. I think that’s why I dig R&B so much. Although one hears a lot more about sex than anything else, but I guess that’s what sells. I like a balance between the physical and the intimate. But then it’s the emotions behind the actions that differentiate between the two, n’est ce pas? Oui.

Plugged In

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You know how so many people are in their own worlds most of the time? On the road, in the bus or train, at the gym, at the mall, in cafes….we’ve got our ears plugged and our own things going on. Whilst planning an outing for later today, I realised I was already wondering what music I’d choose en route to my destination.

I can’t remember the last time I left the house without plugging in. Hmmm. It’s part of my routine now; second nature, reflex action. Walk out the door, head down the street, whip out earphones, get some music pumping. I create my own bubble, an insulating barrier that precludes interaction with anyone else unless it’s absolutely necessary.

A modern-day phenomenon, no?

Just Dance!!

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Hey y’all. 😀 I’ve got a buzz from watching a dance movie, Take the Lead. I love dance. Really. Tango, salsa, flamenco, hip-hop, swing, tap….the possibilities are endless. And the feeling? The feeling is uplifting, satisfying, fulfilling. Dance takes you to another place, a place where rhythm rules and all you have to do to enjoy it is go with the flow. Music is sublime. Sometimes when I hear a beat my body starts moving of its own volition, LOL.

I think that’s part of why I enjoy dance movies so much, some of the beats are crazaayyyy. Makes you wanna get up and shake it! More often than not I do just that. I remember the first time I heard Carry Out by Timbaland featuring Justin Timberlake; my derriere just started moving, I dunno how it happened. I was lying on my stomach, mind you, but still I rocked that track. Or when I learned how to do Beyonce’s booty shake from Crazy in Love when it just came out. Good times, good times.

I really should invest in an iPod. I mean I take my music everywhere, might as well get a mobile device for music only. And Bose headphones. Well, that’s my Christmas list sorted. 😀

I Need This Space…

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Hey cyberspace. I’m at a crossroads right now. On the outside looking in, trying to figure out where I belong. It’s time for something new, something different, but what? The last time I really wanted to shake things up I dyed my hair purple. LOL, that was tight. Especially when the colour turned electric blue. Don’t ask me how, I have no idea.

Anyway, water off ma back. I grew weary of putting so much effort into something that was dysfunctional. Like, crazy dysfunctional. Silly me, I thought things could only improve. I do miss the good times but life goes on and there’s already enough drama, thanks. Funny how something changes right before your eyes yet you don’t notice because it’s so subtle and gradual, eventually so oppressive you need space to just breathe.

Sitting cross-legged facing my laptop, my head in my hands, I mourn what is lost. But hey, it’s only temporary right? Yes indeed.

I Have Learned…

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-That life is what you make of it. Being happy or sad, content or dissatisfied, fulfilled or lacking….you control how and what you feel. External influences can only extinguish the fire and drive we carry within us if we let them.

-That ambition is important, but no one should lose their humanity while striving for the top.

-That love is not always permanent and it comes in many different forms, on various levels. The trick is to recognise each one for what it is, not what you think it should be.

-That money makes the world go round really, when you stop to think about it. There’re other things that matter, but hard cash (or its purchasing power) is the currency to possess.

-That holding on to disappointments and hurt is poisonous to the psyche. It’s a lot healthier to rant and let it out of your system; otherwise it just festers and makes you bitter.

-That time is too precious to waste on negativity. Relationships, jobs, atmospheres … if they leave you drained, fractious, unhappy, or get you down in any way, redirect your focus elsewhere.

-That nobody has the right to stomp on your dreams. Give as good as you get to anyone who tries.

-That you should know who you are, what you stand for, and what you believe in.