Author Archives: Otiti

About Otiti

Soul visionary. Heart hugger. Huge love advocate. Igniting your soul to live your dreams. Get radiant.

Your Life, Your Rules

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Isn’t it funny how those who try to force their views on you never want to hear what you think? It is always about them: how right they are, how wrong you are for refusing their wisdom, and how much better the world would be if everyone followed their advice. Indeed.

Doesn’t it stand to reason that the best ways are not always the loudest or most forceful ones? In a throwback to an earlier post, high volume does not necessarily indicate proper thought or correct reasoning. If I walked around with a megaphone and swore that giving me all your money was the key to solving your problems, would you believe me? I’d do it for many days, everywhere I go, nine to five even. :) Heh heh heh. But yeah, would you accept it? No? What if I had a large followership, would that do the trick?

Anyway, I don’t mean to communicate mostly through questions. This is not an examination, LOL. It just seems like some people expect one to accept their opinions sans any resistance or thinking on one’s part. I’m like, really? They obviously believe in what they have to say, so much so that they feel compelled to spread the word. OK great, no problem at all. But it irks me when that belief is used as an excuse to shove ideology down my throat whether I like it or not. I have a brain, innit? I have the right to decide, to choose what I do and how I do it.

We all live our lives according to our rules (except for the enslaved and/or oppressed), and we protect our right to do so with everything we have. That is why people from different schools of thought are susceptible to violent disagreement. It is possible for an argument to get so heated, so emotionally intense, so personal that anything can happen because the individuals involved react to threats against a basic human right. I mean, of course, the right to choose.

If another person belittles or condemns your choices, he/she indirectly challenges your decisions and your lifestyle. In other words, you are judged and found wanting. If you also think you are wrong and need to change, then you interpret such a challenge as a wake-up call to turn your life around and improve yourself.

But, what if that’s not the case? What if you’re quite happy with the way things are, thank you very much, and you don’t need anyone’s grief or hassle? That is when you take it as an affront to your person and react accordingly. You may not make a scene then and there, but you will definitely resent the intrusion on your privacy. Like how nosy can people get, right? I certainly think so. If that resentment is not speedily expressed, it festers and hardens into a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. Heaven help the poor souls around you when that happens, eh? It would not be a pretty sight.

So. Your life, your rules. Words to live by, methinks. As always, keep it positive and healthy. 😉

The Quest for Fulfilment

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It is a constant journey. We never stop searching for that special moment, that point in time when everything is simply perfect and we couldn’t ask for more. Not yet, anyway. ^_^

Seriously though, the quest for fulfilment is never-ending. The addict finds it in his next fix so he goes back for another and another and another; the scientist finds it when she proves her new theory or solves that mind-numbingly hard equation; a mother gets it as she watches her kid grow and develop; and you get it as you do … well, whatever it is that you do. My point is it’s something you need from the day you become aware of your surroundings until the day you shuffle off this mortal coil. Anyone who claims otherwise is a faker.

Why else do we try so many different things? Why are we drawn to all sorts of people and situations and experiences? You seek the perfect fit, a source of joy and contentment, the sense that you are now whole and complete. It is a continuous yearning for something more, more in an intangible way you can’t explain or quantify, more that you need before you can live and not merely exist, more that elevates each day from the regular to the extraordinary.

There is no magic formula. There isn’t a foolproof method sure to work for every single one of us. Oh, and just in case I’m wrong about that, feel free to share whatever it’s supposed to be. 😀 Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes.

Fulfilment is an intensely personal affair. You must find your own road; you cannot use another’s yardstick as your own measure for happiness. Yes there may be general guidelines applicable to every human being, but the specifics are left for you to discover on your own. I reiterate, on your own. This is why our parents must give us room to grow, why we must allow our children their freedom, and why it is a terrible thing to force your views/opinions on anyone else. You have to try, fail, and try again. Try, try until you either find your niche or carve one for yourself. The day you give up is the day you die inside and cease to live; from that point onwards, you simply exist without the spark of hope to guide you on your search. Dreary prospect, innit?

So, as you continue on your quest for fulfilment, please remember: if it is only in a bottle, a needle, or the arms of various partners, then it’s not real. It is temporary, fleeting, tantalising, and a destructive mutation of the real thing. In other words, negative/harmful substances and liaisons do not provide sustenance. They only whet your appetite for more and trick you into the mindset that you can find the perfect balance to finally fill the void within. It never works out that way. Witness those who trod that path and died as they tried.

OK, that was a bit macabre. I guess I’m just trying to say that positive and healthy methods are the best ones for lasting contentment. Travel, romance, dance, friendship, family ties, sports, music, art … these options are endless. Those are my thoughts, anyway. Stay safe, friends.

Acceptance

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Knowledge is power. Acceptance is freeing. No matter how much something hurts or how bad you feel about a certain person and/or situation, acceptance lets you make peace with yourself.

When you realise that there is absolutely nothing to be done, you stop waiting in vain. You shake off ghosts and shadows from the past, lay to rest the hope of breathing life into wholly dead ties. I’m not saying accept negativity or anything, I’m just saying acknowledge the truth and deal with it. Face it, absorb it, keep moving forward.

There are times to fight, to retreat, to hold on, and then, to just let go. The key is to know the difference and act accordingly. Make room for those willing, waiting, wanting to make room for you too.

Solace

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For the weary and care-worn, the lost and forlorn
A new day is coming so your dreams can be born

For those in the dark, shivering with cold
Warmth is coming in light and fire gold

For those in search of hope and meaning
Strength is coming to fuel your winning

For those who need someone to understand
Help is coming to hold your hand.

Run, Lioness

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Run, lioness, run and rescue your cub
He is weak and hurt, felled by the club

Search, lioness, search for him now
Sweat hangs heavy on his fur and brow

Look, lioness, look at his skin
The gold is fading from your kin

Weep, lioness, weep for him now
He is lost in time, you cannot save him now.

Come, Little One

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Come, little one, come sit at my side
Learn of love and virtue, wisdom and pride

Listen, young one, listen to my words
Of men and kings in battles with swords

Hark, little one, hear what I say
Shun folly ere it leads you astray

Stay, young one, stay here with me
I am old now and wish for company.

Was I Wrong?

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Was I wrong to try, to believe? Was it folly to think we could ever be? I sit here and wonder if I’m the only one wanting what could, what should have been. We were fated for each other! Well, that’s what I thought for many years. Looks like I was wrong about that too. *Shrug* So what else is new?

I tell myself I’m not waiting anymore, try to accept that it’s time to move on and forget you, but I can’t do it. I just can’t. You’re always there. It doesn’t matter where I run or how hard I try to ignore it. You are right there under my skin: waiting, biding your time, safe in the knowledge that I can’t escape you. Or can I?

It’s just so frustrating not knowing how you really feel. I can only ask so many times, I mean it’s not like I ever get a clear answer or feel any better. Maybe it amuses you to treat me like a plaything, I don’t know. We’ve become strangers to one another and I’m struggling to adjust. How’d that even happen, anyway?

I ache for you. I long for you. But you’re poison in my system and I must, I must be free from this longing. I must be free of this pain. It would be easier if I could hate you but I can’t even do that. I can only love you from afar. That’s not enough anymore. So, what now?

I have done my time. I am tired. There’s no point, no reason to nurse hope. You have made your choice, now I must make mine. Once again, I’ll try to say goodbye. I’ll try to live as though a part of me isn’t missing, as if the void within doesn’t exist.

Anyway. My struggle continues. I don’t expect you to notice or care that I’m gone, don’t even expect you to want me. That time is past. Pity, really.

The Banner of Social Awareness

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It can be flown anytime, anywhere, by anyone. It is a way of life: a belief system that transcends age, gender, and political or religious affiliation. The ability to operate on a higher plane of awareness, to envision progress on a grand scale, to make your dreams reality and effect widespread change: that is flying the banner.

You don’t have to be a genius for people to listen. You don’t have to be drop-dead gorgeous, filthy rich, or terribly prestigious to get others interested in your cause. You just need the core of a great idea. When you allow yourself the illumination of imagination, you tread the path of transformation.

What you see and what could be are often two sides of the same coin, and they are separated only by your ability to recognise that. So when you find yourself wondering if things can’t be different, you are simply following the lead of your subconscious, which by the way is more in tune with the world around you than your conscious self. The subconscious is not bound by any laws or restrictions; it simply exists. As such, its potential is limitless and its scope of vision is much wider than one would allow the conscious mind.

Questioning the status quo is often the psyche prodding one to reach higher and do better, to go beyond the constraints placed on us by others and achieve what we see in the mind’s eye. It is the subliminal urge to step outside a comfort zone and stretch for excellence, to challenge oneself on a constant basis, to aim for a lasting legacy of enlightenment and positive change.

Deep down in each and every one of us, we know when a situation can be better. We know when something can be improved or renewed, when change is inevitable, and when it is necessary to act or risk being stifled. We know when we must cast off apathy and achieve the “impossible”. It is left to us to be courageous enough to take that first step.

In order to fly the banner, you must act. In order to act, you must believe. In order to believe, you must think. Think. Task your mind. Mine the treasures waiting within you. Know that having a vision seemingly ahead of your time or generation is an awesome thing, a sure sign that you are aware of the power of an open mind. When your mind is broad, limber, and receptive to new ideas, you are capable of great things.

Embrace the chance to be the best version of yourself. Live your dreams. Fly the banner with pride.

Double Standards

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Yesterday my sister and I discussed some of the double standards rampant in society. Like, guys think it’s OK for them to get with a woman and her sister and her friend and her cousin, but God forbid any woman trying the same thing. How dare she? And every man protects his sister(s) and female cousins (if any) from his friends because he doesn’t want her to “get hurt”. So I wonder, what about all the other women who inevitably get burnt by his escapades? Not all of us have brothers ready to defend our virtue, LOL. For instance, we’re only girls in my house. Does that make us fair game for the fellas? Besides, I believe a lot of dudes give their gender a bad name. It simply can’t be that all men are dogs and bastards. I mean really, what hope is there for us girls if that’s the case?

Oh, and how about the outlook that a promisucous man is a player but a promiscuous woman is a whore? Come on now, let’s not split hairs on the issue. If she chooses to be a maneater, that’s her decision innit? I see no reason why she should be condemned for it. After all, I don’t see anyone losing sleep over the fact that he’s an absolute tart. It’s not that I think it’s right for either sex to behave that way, I just think society’s reaction should be the same for everyone and not discriminatory based on physiological differences.

Anyway. I was thinking about it earlier today and it’s a disgrace. Is monogamy a dead principle? Is fidelity a worthless ideal? I don’t get it. Yes I know there are wonderful gentlemen out there who act right and everything, but you hardly hear about them. The ones dominating the spotlight are mostly the ones who lie, cheat, and act like little boys let loose in a candy store. I’m like really? REALLY?? There must be more to the male species than those who think with the wrong head. Prove me right, gents. Prove me right.

Facebook Blasts from the Past

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Hello! :) How are ya? Good? I certainly hope so. Today I thought I’d note some of my old Facebook statuses, they seem interesting enough to preserve for posterity. I hope you like.

At the end of the day, it’s not what you say. It’s what you do.

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try hard enough, you get what you need.”

“Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together.”  Jacqueline Bisset                  

“I just want you to know the difference between what you feel, and what’s real.”  From the movie ATL

 “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”  Abraham Lincoln

Know yourself.

Just like gold dust. Now you see me, now you don’t! 😀   (Hehehe, I quite like this one.)

Courage: facing your fears even when you feel you can’t handle the outcome.

If you want it, go get it.

 “In prosperity our friends know us – in adversity we know our friends.”

“We recognise in others that which we hide from ourselves.”

“Conscience doesn’t stop us doing what we should not – it just stops us from enjoying it.”

No games. Just love.

All talk and no action makes you an individual unworthy of my time and attention.  (LOL. Very true, n’est pas? Oui, mes amis.)

Nobody has the right to stomp on your dreams. Give as good as you get to anyone who tries.

Time is too precious to waste on negativity.

Art is my craft. My expression is art. Love is my passion.

You have a voice. Speak your truth. You can, and you shall, be heard.

High maintenance and proud of it. Emotional upkeep is essential, not optional.

David is being tested on the kings and queens of England.
“Who followed Edward the VI?” asks his teacher.
“Mary”, replies David.
“And who followed her?”
“Her little lamb.”

Live. Love. Celebrate. Discover. Embrace. Be Alive.

“Love keeps the world steady so money can make it go round.” My sister Onome.

I am not tripped by chocolates. Hook a sister up with some apple pie or something, LOL.  (This one was for Valentine’s Day. Not like I got anything but you know, for future reference. 😉 )

For those who fly under the radar: there are no controversies, and there are no celebrations.

Get your swagger right and your game tight! :)

The truly skilled do not need to brag about their prowess. I’m just saying.

Phew, long list or what! I initially added the dates but they seemed extraneous so I scrapped ’em. Have an awesome day, people.