I bawled my eyes out when Chester Bennington died of suicide. I hadn’t played Linkin Park in years, but he still felt like a friend who said all the things I couldn’t say.
I used to be suicidal, and it’s such a dark place, you guys. Such a dark place.
There’s so much pain and turmoil. You just want the pain to end and stop feeling so lost, alone, and helpless. You just want to be free.
Suicidal people are in a deep pit that fogs the brain. They can’t see what other people can see. They can’t see that healing is possible.
They’ve held on for so long, and nothing seems to be working, and they’re tired. So tired.
Tired of being strong. Tired of feeling like they can’t explain what they feel and there’s such a stigma that some people don’t even want to listen or understand their pain.
Suicides are deaths of people without hope, without peace, without joy. They’re deaths of people with broken hearts and minds, so broken inside that they can’t hold on another minute.
And far too often, we forget that they’re suffering when we ask why they killed themselves.
Depression is real. It hurts. It tears us apart. It makes life grey, excruciating, and joyless. It eats our dreams and leaves us heavy with the sorrow of all we’ve lost.
So please, be kind. Show love. Seek to understand before you speak. Listen hard. Don’t judge.
Don’t pour acid on a soul that’s already bleeding. Don’t mock a broken heart and mind. Don’t attack them because they should’ve known or done better.
You don’t know the agony they live with, and you don’t know what you’d do if you were in the same shoes. You just don’t know.
If people like fashion icon Kate Spade and CNN celebrity Anthony Bourdain can crumble under suicidal thoughts, it can happen to anyone.
You never know who’s grappling with unspeakable pain behind closed doors, so please, please, be kind. I promise you that kindness makes all the difference.
If you know anyone suffering from depression and anxiety, reach out and be a pillar. Ask how they’re doing. Build genuine relationships with them.
Depression is a ravenous beast and we need help slaying it, not flak for battling it in the first place.
Just listening without judgement is more powerful than you know. Give that gift as often as you can. Too many people are falling through the cracks because they’re alone and misunderstood.
Let’s look past the stigmas against depression and anxiety and listen to the people fighting to hold on. Mental health matters and we need to be there for the hurting.
And if you’re triggered by the celebrity suicides like me, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself space to recover. Take time off the Internet if you need to. It’ll all be here when you get back.
May we have the grace to be kinder to each other and be there for one another.
Sending you love,
Otiti
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