Writing a bucketload of love letters is teaching me to love differently.
I’m learning to let people be who they want to be and accept their choices instead of trying to force them to act a certain way to make me happy.
True love doesn’t force or manipulate anyone, and if I’m learning to love like Jesus, then I’m learning to love even when I don’t get my way. Even when it’d be so much easier to get mad and say or do something I’ll regret later. Even when it’s uncomfortable.
If the point of writing a love letter is so the other person smiles and feels seen and heard, then there’s no place for manipulation and control. There’s no place for expecting a particular response and feeling cheated or resentful when I don’t get it. My self-worth isn’t tied to their reaction.
When I realise that I’m looking for praise and validation for writing exquisite love letters, I have a heart-to-heart with myself and unpack the emotions behind my actions.
I discover that yes, I yearn to get replies to my love letters, but more importantly, I want to speak through them. I want to connect. I want to create a beautiful memory for that person, so really, it’s not about me. Every response is a gift, not an obligation, and they don’t owe me anything.
After checking myself and taking the focus off me, I’m able to continue writing with an open heart and a clear mind.
When I feel wistful about the mutual exchange I desire, I remind myself that each letter I receive is a gift, and it doesn’t matter if it’s handwritten, email, or even a WhatsApp message. Then I read through my stack of love letters to myself (63 and counting) and keep it moving.
Learning to love differently means I’m growing through putting my heart on the page.
I’m learning to give without demanding anything and do the deep work of separating my self-worth from the praise and validation of other people.
Loving differently is a daily process, and I don’t think I’ll ever be done, but I do know that I’ll be changed by it if I let myself be vulnerable and tender.
I know that I’ll grow into a brighter, more joyful woman if I show up, love hard, and give generously.
I know that I’ll grow a bigger, stronger heart and a more stable soul if I keep diving deep and exploring new vistas.
I know that I’ll be more of who I dream of being if I keep learning to love differently.
Loving differently is loving deeply, truly, and joyfully.
It’s loving for real through the good and the bad, realising that it’s not about you, and being okay with putting other people first, even when they don’t act the way you want them to.
It’s loving so hard that you’re full when you give your love away and you overflow when you get it back.
Loving differently is pouring beauty on the page, making gorgeous art, and sharing it with the people you love.
It’s showing them that you see them, you dig them, and you want to soar with them.
It’s showing them that they matter, they make a difference, and you’re so very glad they’re in your world.
It’s loving through giving without demanding anything back.
Loving differently is a bold, brave, beautiful way to live.
It’s not easy, but if you let it, it’ll open you up to a deeper, truer kind of love that goes the distance.
Otiti, thank you for this insightful and wise post. Truly, giving without expecting anything in return is the purest form of love. Selfless
You’re welcome, Mummy. Thank you for reading.
Yup, giving without an agenda is a great way to grow your love and generosity. Also good to check yourself when you’re feeling entitled to anything.
My favorite part: “Loving differently is loving through giving without demanding anything back”
As difficult as this statement is, there is nothing truer (permit my word) than these.
Thanks for always inspiring.
As usual, it was a great read.
Damiii. Thanks for coming through, bro. Yup, we gotta give and be okay with whatever happens after it!
You’re welcome!
