What do you do when you feel the world is closing in all around you? How do you cope with the need for space and solitude, with feeling like you can’t breathe even though you’re surrounded by air?
There are times when it seems as if nothing’s going right and everything’s going wrong instead. You want to do something great but you wonder if you can make it; you want to lose yourself in a dream but you find yourself punching holes through the gossamer because you have to face “reality”; you want to live but you find yourself doubting you can keep bliss on tap.
So what? So what if you can’t? So what if happiness comes and goes and you have to deal with tears every once in a while? So what if you feel down more often than not and you just want a break from it all? Life is one great big messy ride and nobody has all the answers. Nobody’s perfect. Nobody’s “up” every single moment of every single day. We put on our happy faces in public so no one has any idea how we sob ourselves to sleep at night. We smile ’til our cheeks hurt because it’s easier to cope that way and we’re trying to hold the droop at bay. At the end of the day, though, are you being real?
Thinking about this brings a past tweet to mind: Those who laugh the hardest often shed the deepest tears. I’m not quite sure what I had in mind when I wrote that, but it turned up fully formed. People with a huge capacity to feel must deal with the good and the bad, and sometimes, it feels like the bad outweighs the good.
Whenever it seems like it’s just too much, take a breather and a step back. Sit in a quiet room. Play some mood music. Be honest with yourself and face your emotions head-on. More importantly, admit the “why” and feel no shame. How many times have you felt something and immediately thought “I shouldn’t feel that, should I? Am I a bad person?”, hmm? If a friend’s habit grates on your nerves, admit it. If a parent crosses the line, address it. If your lover takes you for granted, voice it. Nothing can change if you don’t speak up.
When you know you can’t say anything because you’re too worked up at that moment, then don’t; do it later with a clear head and a calm tongue. Why wait until you’re past your limit and you blow your top, anyway? You’ll find yourself unleashing waay too much at once and it’s never pretty; even worse, you’ll regret it when the dust settles and the red clears from your vision. Trust me, I know. I’ve been there.
Acknowledge your emotions. Sort through the “whys”. Be open. Deal with issues as they arise. Be fair. Some believe you should fake it ’til you make it; I believe you should know why so you can truly change it. Know why you feel a certain way so you can adjust accordingly. Inasmuch as it’s important to know, it’s also important to be able to feel without thinking too much, LOL.
I guess I’m just trying to say this: You’ll walk on air. You’ll be down in the dumps. You’ll beam with pleasure, howl in frustration, weep in pain, and laugh with all your heart. You’ll experience everything your emotional spectrum has to offer because that’s life and we all have to live it. There’s no magic formula, only you and how you choose to react to stuff.
If you are able to take any situation in your stride; if you are able to adapt yourself to any circumstance, no matter how harsh; if you are able to let your reactions flow without suppressing them; if you can just let yourself be, then you’ll be all right. 🙂