Who’s In Your Bed With You?


Having great sex is hard enough without letting other people into your bed and head with you. It takes commitment, dedication, and focus to make great sex a daily priority, and if you have negative voices chattering in your ear about what you should or shouldn’t do, you’re setting yourself up for little to no sex and the yawning emptiness that comes with it. Back AWAY from the void, ladies.

The truth is your opinion is the only one that matters; what other people think of your sex life is not your business, and it shouldn’t affect how often you do or don’t have the kind of sex you’re dying to have.

I like to talk about transcendent sex because it’s so much more than regular sex that’s stuck in a rut or boring routine. It’s about showing up each time, bringing all of yourself to the table, and exploring what’s possible for you in that moment.

Maybe you’ll set a new personal record (10+ orgasms, anyone?), maybe you’ll have the time of your life, or maybe you’ll just process what’s been bugging you and weighing you down.

The only people you need in your bed are you and your partner(s); everyone else is superfluous and there only by invitation.

If anyone thinks you’re having too much sex, talking too much about your booming sex life, or reading/exploring/listening to too much sex stuff overall, THEY ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE.

Did you get that? They are not your people, and their opinions don’t matter, period. Haters gon hate.

Besides, if you’re really being conscious and intentional about the kind of sex you’re having and why you’re having it, you’re not gonna become a sex addict* or something equally outrageous. You may have a large appetite, yes, but it’ll nourish and sustain you, not overpower and ruin you.

See, transcendent sex is a spiritual practice. Your body is the temple, and the act of sex cares for that temple. When you have transcendent sex, you tap into the energy that powers the Universe and drives all creative acts. You bathe your cells in energy that lights you up and opens your creative channels.

Sex energy and creative energy come from the same source (your sacral chakra), so diving into one usually leads to a breakthrough in the other. When you choose to discover what you’re capable of as a sexual being, it ripples out to everything else and infuses your days with more joy, laughter, and lightheartedness.

Keep your bed (and head) sacred and full of love. No haters allowed.

*This is not to make light of sex addiction or pretend it doesn’t exist. I believe that sex addiction arises from empty sex that doesn’t nourish the addict, so she keeps having more and more of it to fill a void within her.

That said, I’m not a psychologist or sex therapist, so please seek professional help if you feel your sex life is out of control and/or hazardous to you in any way. I believe in a robust sex life that builds you up, not one that makes you feel bad about yourself or out of control.

In my experience, daily sex is perfectly healthy and doesn’t make you an addict. Daily sex is a choice, not an obligation or mandatory practice, and you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.

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