So, we know we want to have transcendent sex. We know we want to feel more and have better orgasms, juicier orgasms, more fiery orgasms.
Can I get a witness?
My question for you today is: Are you creating space to have transcendent sex?
Like I said in last week’s post, our brain-vagina connection means the brain sends messages to the vagina and the vagina sends messages to the brain. Feeling turned on isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom; it’s also what happens outside of it.
Let me say that again: Feeling turned on isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom; it’s also what happens outside of it.
When you have the courage to ask for the kind of sex you want, you tap into your sexual power of choice and desire. You get very clear on the experiences you want to have and create optimal conditions for those experiences to blossom. Showing up fully for yourself with clear intentions makes it easier to live out those intentions.
So how do you create space to have transcendent sex in your relationship(s)?
1.) Slow things down. WAY down.
Naomi Wolf talks about “the Goddess Array” in Vagina: A New Biography, a set of behaviours and practices that keep us turned on and eager to burn up the sheets with our lovers.
The slow kisses and caresses popularly known as foreplay are VITAL for transcendent sex. For instance, regularly having your hair stroked outside the bedroom makes you feel cared for, and more likely to let it rip during sex. So if your partner’s not lavishing slow kisses and caresses on you, ask!
Make time for slower sex, yo. Fast and hard can be good, and slow + deep is better.
2.) Make time for sex dates. [Continue reading]